I remember our bodies sweating like sea lions
Simmering under the southern heat
Both full of bar food and dark rum from the night before
You drank enough for the both of us
But then you always did
I remember amber stained fingers from your Marlboro reds
Pawing at me
Curves purring
Tenderness ripe
Your hand melting upon my swollen stomach
Comfort deadened your weight
I crawled under you
Towards the sunlight tickling my toes
To fill up again
On something
I remember you stirring
Emerging from the airless pit ploughed by drunken words
A promise of eternity uttered
Yet hours evaporated
Forgotten
And empty longings coated our lungs
Our mouths were dry
For we’d swallowed all we could give
I remember watching smoke escape you
That first cigarette of the day
Rousing euphoria
I was never able to awaken similar pleasures
You wouldn’t allow me to
I remember we never cleaned up
A sink full of midnight cravings
Half eaten pancakes from 4am proposals
“Ask me again in the morning”
Well morning came
And bitter coffee softened the beaten shadow
Clouds of knowing
Knowing the rain would fall
To disperse such words
Never to be heard again
I remember the permanent current
A chaos never ceasing
I remember falling deeply in love with our mess
Mirroring untamed gardens
Seeds sown by others to grow wild within
I remember your divinity
But I was numb
Bursting with an excess of salty tears
Smudging the ink as we wrote our story
I remember the ending
Waves crashing
Eroding the chalk my bones were now made of
My survival depended on it
I cleaned up.