Little understandings

There’s a whole universe swirling inside of me

No wonder I can’t count my steps

Or keep to time

Because our concept of time isn’t very forgiving

No wonder I can’t feel the same morning noon and night

Or understand why I’m told to behave in ways that often feel wrong

Because the rules inside of me don’t match those outside

For instance, the continious happenings

Like the storms and the seasons and the birds and the bees

They make sense to me

But not in ways that need explaining

Because I think the Why is experienced

Whereas

When land is sold and destroyed

Land that completes us, land that provides more for us than prayer and promises

Such actions need explanations

But no one can explain reasons I understand

The concept of ownership baffles me

Because what do we really own?

The bird that perches on the tree

Knowing permission is always granted

The bird carries no weight, no fear of another tree refusing him to settle.

What ownership comes into play there?

And birds migrating

They follow their knowing

The way

But what happened to our knowing?

I know nothing, most of the time

I’m lost in a world programmed by minds working within their own boundaries

I’m lost within their minds, as I’m sure they are too

I can only comment on my own boundaries and even those I cannot comprehend

I can’t explain the complexities I feel or the many faces I wear

I cannot put into words how I feel when clouds decorate the sky

But for the clouds, they’re not decorating

Their purpose is purposeless, as they worry not of our perceptions

They exist because they exist and not for us

They exist with us

Evolving effortlessly as they morph

These natural cycles we examine and dissect

Do they know their influence upon us as they carry out such intricate jobs?

But we made that word. Jobs

And money

And dreams

Because dreams lack the presence of each breath

I use the word dream too much

And I’m half heartedly present

I dream to feel whole

To feel my power and might and fears and disappointments flood over me

And not fight

To ride

I don’t want anything more than to feel ok

But as I write this, I feel ok

So really I am just so scared to be satisfied?

We were taught to gain

So I dream to loose my fear of satisfaction

To feel secure in my universe even though I know stars die and comets collide

To know that I don’t have to understand why

To feel part of myself

And part of you

And part of the birds perching on the tree

Birds we ignore as we rush to get to our jobs on time

I dream to be satisfied with my valuable purposelessness

And that all I do feels right

Not tomorrow

But now

I dream of such simplicities

And to have little understanding but vast knowing’s

Knowing to trust

All that I am