There’s a whole universe swirling inside of me
No wonder I can’t count my steps
Or keep to time
Because our concept of time isn’t very forgiving
No wonder I can’t feel the same morning noon and night
Or understand why I’m told to behave in ways that often feel wrong
Because the rules inside of me don’t match those outside
For instance, the continious happenings
Like the storms and the seasons and the birds and the bees
They make sense to me
But not in ways that need explaining
Because I think the Why is experienced
Whereas
When land is sold and destroyed
Land that completes us, land that provides more for us than prayer and promises
Such actions need explanations
But no one can explain reasons I understand
The concept of ownership baffles me
Because what do we really own?
The bird that perches on the tree
Knowing permission is always granted
The bird carries no weight, no fear of another tree refusing him to settle.
What ownership comes into play there?
And birds migrating
They follow their knowing
The way
But what happened to our knowing?
I know nothing, most of the time
I’m lost in a world programmed by minds working within their own boundaries
I’m lost within their minds, as I’m sure they are too
I can only comment on my own boundaries and even those I cannot comprehend
I can’t explain the complexities I feel or the many faces I wear
I cannot put into words how I feel when clouds decorate the sky
But for the clouds, they’re not decorating
Their purpose is purposeless, as they worry not of our perceptions
They exist because they exist and not for us
They exist with us
Evolving effortlessly as they morph
These natural cycles we examine and dissect
Do they know their influence upon us as they carry out such intricate jobs?
But we made that word. Jobs
And money
And dreams
Because dreams lack the presence of each breath
I use the word dream too much
And I’m half heartedly present
I dream to feel whole
To feel my power and might and fears and disappointments flood over me
And not fight
To ride
I don’t want anything more than to feel ok
But as I write this, I feel ok
So really I am just so scared to be satisfied?
We were taught to gain
So I dream to loose my fear of satisfaction
To feel secure in my universe even though I know stars die and comets collide
To know that I don’t have to understand why
To feel part of myself
And part of you
And part of the birds perching on the tree
Birds we ignore as we rush to get to our jobs on time
I dream to be satisfied with my valuable purposelessness
And that all I do feels right
Not tomorrow
But now
I dream of such simplicities
And to have little understanding but vast knowing’s
Knowing to trust
All that I am
