This morning the sun rose early – well it didn’t, we just put the clocks back an hour so us humans can sync with the sun and enjoy brighter mornings. Great, I can get out for run earlier… I’m not actually so pumped to run that I can’t wait to get out, it’s more that if I wake and it’s still dark, I wait until the sun rises and by that point I’ve talked myself out of going. So, this morning, the sun was up but the sky was as grey as grey can be. I couldn’t see three steps ahead of myself due to fog. It’s also halloween weekend and after passing a few houses with dead mannequins outside their doors, it was a spooky, grey, damp, chilly run.
This new moon has me feeling all hazy, my mind pretty much resembling the fog I ran through this morning. Isn’t it incredible how we’re faced with what we’re trying to run from and this morning it was like ‘you’re gonna run straight through what you’re avoiding!’ I’ve always kept my head down this time of year, there is something about the energy of late October, early November. Maybe it’s to do with the darkness of nights, and the entering into the cooler, more contracting days. The clouds appear lower and we wrap up to keep warm when all i want to do is shed, constantly. However, I know that I can’t keep shedding otherwise all I’d have to let go of is my own skin and bones. I run from everything and this time of year its harder to blank what I’m not wanting to face as the longer nights evoke hibernation mode and when in hibernation, mostly we have only ourselves for company and when we’ve ourselves for company, we’re faced with ourselves and.. well you get where I’m going with this. So the veil is thin, I am feeling prickly and during previous years I’ve fallen victim to the sting that injects deeply during in the month of Scorpio.
This year feels different. The only example I can give of this is during my run this morning. Striding through the thick fog obstructing the familiarity of surrounding streets, all I could do was notice what is often overlooked on clear, sunny days.
I believe that spiderwebs are the most beautiful pieces of art (I know they’re as natural to a spider as breath is to us but if only they knew how influential their gift was – but that’s the beauty of existence, non of us really know the significance we may hold in others lives). I was once terrified of spiders but since noticing the intricacy of their magnificent creations, I have turned full circle, admiring them so. This morning I was surrounded by dewy webs scattered everywhere. I went for a walk yesterday and noticed not one. Today, because of the fog they stood out like pieces of wonderland, luring me to magical understandings.
Thing is, I can’t escape the fog, not in my mind or on the street. It just gets foggy sometimes – all part of the cycle that is life. What I can do is become aware of what stands out in the fog, those intricate, enchanted threads that can so easily disguise themselves as part of the scenery. Yet every part of the scenery is essential in making the scenery so fucking beautiful. I saw that this morning. What we see outside of ourselves is often a reflection from within. This new moon sure got me on my knees in total wonder of how beautiful all those ‘scary’ parts of me can be. I guess it just depends on the ever-changing weather conditions and how willing I am to appreciate the art that is me :).