There’s a road at the end of my street which has, to put it nicely, been forgotten. The weeds have grown over… well everything and a large building, once a factory of some sort, (I’ll have to do some local history research to find out what for) is now boarded up. It was painted white many years ago as it’s been that way since I can remember and I’ve lived around these parts (off and on) for 30 years. It’s not what you’d call conventionally pretty and has unfortunately taken a huge brunt of my anxieties over the past few year as to why I’ve wanted to escape the area. I know, I know, it’s not the area (well it is a little), it’s me wanting to escape myself but that’s another post for another day :).
So, this road at the end of my street which is also next to a 10 lane carriageway (noisy bugger) is a road I prefer to avoid. When you have anxiety you tend to project your ‘stuff’ onto places/things or people. In my head it’s gone something like this…. ‘I can’t go to that place because I had a panic attack there and it must be full of bad vibes as I feel weird every time I go so I avoid that place like the plague’. It’s been a conversation I’ve had with myself for many years about many places, places I am now slowly re-introducing into my life, like old lost friends. I’m finding new ways to look at spaces I once found difficult or triggered a fear or feeling that unsettled me. It’s all about new perspectives at the moment, so that is my aim, to find beauty in the overlooked and inject fresh energy into places I’ve felt were stagnant or have triggered insecurities.
Starting with the building at the end of my road.
Getting up close and personal stopped my usual ‘I need to walk quickly down this eerie road’ self-talk and prompted stillness as I decided what I pictures I wanted to take. I had to look, properly, not just skim the surface as I think about something in my head and not notice the beauty that really can be found everywhere.
In doing so, most importantly, I enjoyed those moments of examination. I smiled as I roamed around the outskirts of the building, noticing more than I’d ever done before.
Now I want to explore more and that feels bloody fantastic. The excitement that comes when we discover new is the best feeling. I think that makes us feel so incredibly alive, when we want to discover, to examine, to appreciate. That is the high I’m on right now as I write this, I am so grateful for this decaying building, for it’s beauty, for being an undisturbed resting zone for precious creatures…
And for teaching me today that no place is ever the monster that I once believed it to be. All the sadness and pain and frustrations I’ve associated with a place, they come from within and even if an environment vibrates lower than another (everything is energy after all) there will always be a corner where beauty can thrive and searching for that corner is the most fun of all.