Me, a Christian?
Me? No way
Me? Not me
Going backwards and forwards and backwards and forwards and sideways and backwards, I’ve been having the above conversation with myself… a battle if you like for the past… wait for it… 20 years!
I’ve researched many religions, many philosophies over the space of 5 years. I’ve searched and I’ve read many texts, valuing greatly the time and opportunity to do so. I enjoy learning about different cultures and belief systems – how societies all over the world have varying beliefs in something greater than themselves. I guess during this process I was rediscovering my relationship with myself and my faith. It seems that the more I research the more I am led to where I came from, back to the unquestionable faith I had as a child, my Christian roots. As I turned my back on God and my faith, I turned my back on myself.
The previous week has been one of enlightenment if you like, a week of letting go to receive Gods love, listening without any restrictions or requests. I have opened myself fully and in doing so, I have come to feel empowered, discovering that when I invite God back into my life, I feel like I am home again (which is the most incredibly calming and settling sensation ever!)
Home is the best way to describe how I am feeling. The last time I felt like I was home was when I visited Texas in 2014. I am a London girl, born and bred. I’d never been to the US before yet when I stepped off the plane in Austin, Tx I felt a softness, like my soul had elevated to a place unknown to me – I felt like I was home. This has baffled me for some time, why there and not in the place I have known my whole life? Yet, opening my heart to God has given me the answer in a very fast and simplistic way. When I went to Texas I let go. I let my guard down as even the miracle of getting on the plane to America was an inspired action of courage, one I never thought I’d be able to carry out. I didn’t think too heavily about this at the time but I allowed myself to surrender all egotistical control. I felt like I was home because I believed. I believed in myself and as a consequence I shone brighter than I remembered I could. The whole holiday was full of miracles, I cannot even begin to explain how magic rippled through each moment. I offered no resistance to the unlimited power of spirit and I know for a fact I met angels, yes beautiful, soul-enriching Angels. Now I see that angels come into my life everyday, especially when invited 🙂 I can’t say the holiday went according to plan but that just accelerated surrender.
I’ve turned my back on light and Love for too long. I’ve dampened my own spirit and I’ve shut my heart to God. I am so grateful to be able to acknowledge this, I feel so blessed that Love has become my primary goal each and every day.
I am so grateful to feel like I’m home no matter where I am as God’s love is everywhere… LOVE is present, always. God Loves, God Loves more than our human minds could ever imagine possible and what greatness this inspires! Greatness beyond expectations.