Fallen

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I’ve been too afraid to breathe deeply

Sat, with my feet dangling over the edge, watching life catch their prey

What, do I imagine I will feel?

Afraid of the tears I’ve bottled and given away, with compliments

My sacred waters soothing another’s tired feet

Afraid of years I lost to the gambling sun, burning through the darkness with flames of inadequacy. It was not my place to cry, I am too dry for that pleasure.

Broken nails imbedded in my throat as I crawled my way up from the bottom

Always crawling to be seen. Visible is my head but my heart remained below the apple, too afraid to devour.

I remember the day I broke in the middle of the road, not able to catch a breath, too fast were thoughts of running far from sharp cartilage in my lungs.

How am I able to leave myself behind?

I’ve been too afraid to breathe deeply, as what rises may be the soil to root my soul back to my body, the mud to cleanse forgotten sores.

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