Maybe That’s It

Making sense

Brings its own questions

Like floating through space

How is that possible?

And the pink in the rock

And the blue and the green

How do they come about?

And a cats purr

Why do I remember the peace when I hear it?

And it is peaceful

Like a lake or a crisp sun in winter

I don’t want to make sense of the why

Maybe that’s it

As if I did, maybe magic wouldn’t exist anymore

We

I forgot the existence of you

We were lost

And I clung, structure kept me up but my legs ached and my fingers were burnt by the sun I painted blue

But in that, I remembered again

There you stood

The beautiful flesh of your feet

Soaked by the oil of olives

And jasmine creeped through your toes

Amber seeped from your pores

So firm in you was the essence I’m to love

And not because of command

Because all I had to do was remember

We met before time framed expansions

Before corners boxed our union, branding the blocks as real

Remember the sight we surrendered?

As we bowed, foreheads kissing the soil and eyes closed, resting

Together we rose, below the blossoming buds

We spread our roots to feed, I give back that which I received from you

And when I forgot this

My veins pulsed with such force, too rapid for the void

Too fast for death to settle

In death, there is no judgement

In death, the flesh surrenders to where home began

In death we are woven

Rising to the saviour

That is we.

Investments

I’ve made a decision to invest in my perceptions

Well, perception of my perceptions. I feel like I’m three layers away from the truth

And maybe no matter how hard I try, I’m always boxed within a role, a substance, a circumstance.

And that’s right or wrong or… fuck it

Sometimes I see it, that we’re tides giving the moon a hard time. “Stop doing your thing, so I can stop doing my thing. Let’s watch life die together”

And I had to look hard at myself. As when you invest in something you gotta have an understanding of the value before commitments are made

So, where’s my poverty line?

How down on myself can I stoop before I tarnish this penny? Pretty low. No-ones perfect

That’s what vinegar is for! And it really doesn’t take that long to work

The market is forever changing, this bustling creation, like figures typed onto a screen with closed eyes and wondering fingers

It is what it is, I’ve heard that before

I’m investing in my perceptions

What perceptions? You say

I hear you

How do I see things? The word ‘how’ is incredibly specific

I can’t indulge in specifics, there is no time for that, I’m an investor now

Time is precious

Wait, perceptions of time, am I running out?

I’ll pour more in, paint more seconds and dial tones that expand the circle. Introduce 13

Now I’ve enough

Enough bids stillness and I’m happy to raise my hand to that

Perceptions on a conveyer belt, that’s an invention I could invest in

Or invest in seeing before appearance

I wish I’d learnt long ago that the real value isn’t the matter, but the thought in-between

Sense

It may make no sense

No sense at all

But listen to this

As man of tall

Shall bend at the knees

As petals fall

And the breaking of day

Is best thought at night

To imagine to the sun

Most vivid in sight

And some days I’m weary

Some days I’m cold

Some days I’m young and others I’m old

Sense is the happen

No need for the why

As we’re born, we exist

And the end, we die.

Which Way?

I asked the sun so kindly

“What door shall I take?

Should I go left or right

This decision I can’t make!”

She smiled very sweetly

“You know what I’m to say

There really is no change

To what I said the other day!”

“So how about the left?” I said

“It may give me what I want

It’ll big up my ideas

In gold, italic font

Or maybe right is best

A way I’d never planned

Leaving the big city

Calling home sea and sand

Or… one day I’m in one

And another day, the other

One day I could have money

And the other day, a lover

Or right arm in the left door

And left goes in the right

Each hand fondling something

Keeping something outta sight

Another option is

I just stay where I am

So what do ya say, stay put?”

The sun replied “yes ma’am”

Strong

I thought I knew who I was

It seemed I was very wrong

Mostly thought of as being flakey

I hoped people would see me as strong

But then one day when they did

I got scared as I don’t want to be

Someone other than whom I’m familiar

So I’ll go back to flakey old me

And maybe I am strong some days

But I’ll be that behind closed doors

Like a flower that blooms behind roses

There’s no ‘ultimate being’ laws

So for now I’ll just be who I am

To not worry how others perceive

As they’ll see what they see, as they see it

And their view is the one they’ll believe

So yes, I’m as flakey as hell

Changing mind at the drop of a hat

Once I’m strong to be strong than I’ll be

And I can’t do better than that.