The Edge

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What if the edge

Where I stand so close

Was not as we put it

Madness

But a falling tree

So distantly

Is holding my hand

As cries for the land

To be left alone

Are ignored

And poured

Is silencing tar

Upon the tongue

Of ones

Uniting

What if the edge

Where humans wait

To contemplate

Decisions made

Settings laid

Went wrong in our eyes

Yet this denies

The truth

That follows

The wallows

The tears

Wading through fears

To learn

And return

To love

What if the edge

Such promises pledged

To myself I would stay

Ten steps away

From jumping

To shatter

What doesn’t matter

Yet falling would purge

The empty urge

To need more

To blame

To consciously shame

What if the edge

Was the state of it all

And we follow the call

To love

To agree

That one are we

And the edge

Is the line

Yours and mine

To notice the drop

And stop

The divide

That rips the inside

Of all the confused

Perfection infused

Beings we are

Travelling far

The star

Is the mighty in you

And together we do

More than believed

At the edge.

Whole

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I don’t want to do anything today

Maybe just stare at a tree

And savour the nothing of everything

Or savour the wholeness of me

 

But what if I don’t feel whole

As I stare at the tree and just be

How do I feel whole all by myself?

When I need more than me, I need ‘we’

 

But is that true as I don’t feel alone

And when was ‘we’ all I knew?

Because I honestly know me better

Than I knew the workings of you

 

So now I’m knowing me more

And ‘we’ is no longer my all

I can feel whole all by myself

And puff my own cushion to comfort my fall.

 

So I am glad I did little today

That I stared at the tree, just to be

These thoughts they ease my chaos

And strengthen my faith in the wholeness of me

 

Holes

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Your niceties

Match mine

They’re not yours

As mine are not owned by me

Hanging on your fathers wall are glass memories

They’re so fragile, as are his beliefs in you

And your belief in me

Sits wanting behind the mirror

Yet those holes

Not recognised but undeniable

Those holes to bathe burnt toes

Offer such comfort and shelter for exhaustion

And I’m exhausted by your niceties

And mine

Because all we’re meant to be through tampered eyes

I’m done

So let my fingers bind with yours

Within those darkened spots

Your holes

Allow my holes

To be

Belong

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I’m no accident

No hand of luck

Or result of consequence

Led me here

I’m claiming one half and the other

I’m claiming everything

I AM more powerful than I believed

I learn

And I love

Learning to love painlessly

And when I don’t

I claim understanding

Because I can only know

To know what I know

And so to understand ourselves

Is as important as breath drunk deeply

As without

We slice and dice our life

Disconnecting from the totality of our brilliance

The phenomenal powers of the universe

The incomparable beauty

Lives within us

Generating electricity

And un-orchestrated rhythms

Intricate happenings

And microscopic life

Happening not to us

But in us

All wonders we observe above

To understand why and where and how

Has evolved so precisely within

So I’m claiming my own excellence

I’m no accident

And neither are you

We’re evolving perfectly

As life does

And we belong.

Generous

 

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Am I so generous?

Handing my power over

Now the property of others

Sometimes mostly

Often mainly

How kind I am to permanently loan

My power lives further than undecided boundaries

Because I dumped it

Somewhere on busy street corners

Lost amongst the bustle of unchartered souls

I just keep giving and giving

And giving

Yes, the odd occasion may arise when I collect

But someplace or somewhere or someone will own it again

Loosing a grip of myself has become a habit

Misunderstood patterns have become my absolutes

So what? I may feel a little disjointed

Sound may bounce off empty walls

Jarring such sensitive systems

And roots may loosen

They never sat firmly within familiar soils anyway

But I’ve not known myself other than this

Because the majority of me has been deposited elsewhere

Am I so generous?

One thing I know for sure

Time travel exists

Truth!

They say tomorrow is a new day but my days resemble those I’ve lived before

And I’m most certain that all I gave still lives in my pocket

Am I to be selfish?

To take one of two

I could sever the cord

Releasing my addictions to warped perceptions

Leaving behind what’s given

Or I retrieve

Inviting home shady grains I so willingly brushed off

Rewarding the return of all that I don’t want but need

Either way, I wait

I’ve waited not so patiently for others to bring me pieces of them

But what crap they gave me

So this generosity of mine

Misquote

Abandonment

Who the hell wants that?

So I’m keeping

My choice

My power

Product recall of all that belongs to me

Only I know how

But really, how?

I know, I know

Only I know how

Up

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When life feels flat

I dig up the soil

To mound over me

I make mountains to climb

And I sweat as I conquer

And I cry at the top

‘That was so fucking hard!’

And while at the top

I dream of the bottom

So I roll down the mountain

And laugh as I go

But it’s flat at the bottom

I’ve no where to tumble

So I dig up the soil

To climb up the mound

And nearly die trying

Again