Bestest 

So said the dog ‘oh human, I’d really like to know, where exactly is the spot that biscuits like to grow?’
‘You know the ones you give me, to settle me at night, I’d like to find them for myself and take a crunchy bite’

The human laughed ‘oh dog, they do not grow on trees, they’re made by hands of human kind and travel overseas. See the biscuits that you eat, aren’t natural like the grass, they’re made of stuff I cannot spell and stamped to show they pass. Passed as what, I’m not too sure, but still you like to chew, they seem to keep you able, to do as dogs can do’

The dog was not too sure of this, as what should he then eat, if missiles were to hit the earth and kill off all the meat? ‘If that should happen’ the human said ‘you’d die as well, I’m sure.’ So said the dog, ‘how sad is that’ and cried into his paw.

The human and the dog, they hugged until it hurt, but then the human had a thought she couldn’t wait to blurt. ‘You see, we could get blown so high we find another planet, where I could be a butterfly and you could be a rabbit. And then we’d eat whatever’s there, be yellow, red or blue. We’d nibble on fresh pastures green or make a rainbow stew. Let’s hope that if this world should end our souls will stay together. To roam around this universe, best pals we’ll be forever’

#35 Grateful For 10 More Things To Be Grateful About

 

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Here comes another list 🙂

  1. Grateful for garlic. I know this sounds weird but I love the smell of garlic on my hands. It’s a strong scent so even after a few hand washes the scent stays on my fingers. I LOVE IT. Garlic is delicious and full of good stuff for our body and when I cook with it I feel the meal is complete. So little scent reminders of this medicine is always welcomed.
  2. Grateful for the internet. Our internet went down for about 4 days. It wasn’t a catastrophe and I’m not saying we wouldn’t be able to survive without the internet, we would but it did make me appreciate how often I find inspiration on the world wide web. The internet can make things so much easier and allows me to post on this blog – a place where I’ve connected with people from all over the world! That is pretty darn cool.
  3. Grateful for flaked almonds. I adore almonds but there’s something about them being flaked, maybe it’s the ease of eating them and because of that the flavour seems more intense. It’s like grated carrot – for me the flavour is fuller as it’s softer and not such an effort to chew (that makes me sound so lazy!).
  4. Grateful for my morning meditation. I’ve been meditating for about 3 years now but I can honestly say that only recently I feel I have clicked with this practice/process. When I first started I think I was just going through the motions and trying to find a way that suited me. I was still imposing ego over the process and wanted it to make me feel the way I thought it should be making me feel. You read so many books and quotes about how meditation changes your life, it’s the ‘answer’. It’s not the answer but it certainly helps you to find your truth, something that has been a part of you the whole time, even during darker days. It’s just so easy to muffle our inner voice by thinking what we’ve been told to think and feel. Meditation allows me to tap back into who I truly am… a whole loada love, no matter what circumstances I’m going through 🙂
  5. Grateful for daffodils. Yes, the daffodils are coming out to play. A warm, sunny reminder that spring is on it’s way. A splash of colour reminds me how much I adore the cycle of seasons and the UK does seasons so well.
  6. Grateful for the pretty white house opposite ours. There is something about this house. It’s the only white house on the street, it looks more like a cottage really. We have a large tree outside our house too so from the front room window you can see the house and tree and it kinda looks like a scene from the country rather than a busy suburban London borough.
  7. Grateful for the local farmers market. I was thinking this morning about how much I love our local farmers market. I have this tendency to think about living someplace not so busy and more ‘wild’ than the outskirts of London. However to appreciate where you are each moment is vital if you want to feel good. So I have been thinking about what I love about where I live and the farmers market is one of these things. You can buy local produce and speak to those who make/sell their products – I think that forming a relationship with those who have a hand in creating what you personally enjoy is a beautiful way to truly appreciate what you’re eating/drinking/using/wearing.
  8. Grateful for miso soup. We get an organic vegetable delivery every week and often the box if full of greens (kale, spinach etc). I don’t like raw kale and as we often get a massive bag of it, some was getting wasted as I wasn’t eating it on a daily basis. Now I put it in a miso soup for lunch 🙂 – it’s getting eaten daily and not only am I benefiting from kale’s nutritional offerings, there is no waste at the end of the week.
  9. Grateful for sore cuticles. This is kinda odd but having sore cuticles reminds me that I no longer want to pick at my own skin! It’s become a habit as I used to do it all the time when I was nervous as a kid. Now I do it when I’m reading or even typing as whenever I take a breather from the keyboard my nail automatically begins picking at some hard piece of skin (sounds gross, I know). Now, I am making a conscious decision to stop as I’m only hurting myself.
  10. Grateful for new music discoveries. I love listening to new artists, especially when I’m led to them. I think music represents the energies we’re vibin’ at and when you’re led to new discoveries it feels like it’s tapping into a part of you that may have been asleep. I feel this.

This gratitude list malarky sure does raise the vibrations to places of deliciousness. Thinking this way allows me to see miracles every where and every day. I can’t ask for more than that.

Happy Tuesday and much love!

#34 Grateful For Fresh Perspectives

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I have been thinking a lot about the language I use. The words I have used for many, many years to describe uncomfortable feelings or circumstances have not been resonating as of late.

An example of this is anxiety. The word anxiety has many stale connotations attached. I that for me the past few years have been like a cheese of sadness and anxiety and depression all packed into one ball of wax and dumped into the chambers of my psyche. Well the cheese is beginning to smell and the chamber needs airing. I don’t want these stories to be my reality anymore – it’s not my reality, it actually feels ‘old’ to talk about how ‘hard’ things have been over the past few years as I know that each moment has been of great value – the faith and love I feel today is because of yesterday and the day before and the day before that etc :).

So I am now changing my vocabulary to suit the shift I have recently been experiencing. The term anxiety has now become an ‘influx of feeling’, influx for short. That is what it feels like, an influx of overwhelming sensations that ride my energy system for what feels like an eternity at the time but really only a minute or so. Once you attach yourself to the feeling it becomes harder to surrender, harder to release those expectations of repeat when faced with similar circumstances or emotional triggers. I know triggers must be recognised before any form of healing can take place but it’s important not to focus too much on how you have been feeling when you’re triggered but more on how you want to feel instead.

Also, the descriptive term of Panic Attack… nope, that has gotta change. Attack? There is no attack. My body is responding to assumptions that I am being attacked – panic is not attacking me. We panic because we think we’re in danger so our body is essentially helping us, doing exactly what it is programmed to do. This ‘panic attack’ is my body’s way of helping me to thrive. At all times, day and night, life want’s to survive. Out bodies heal, our breath calms, the body does what it can to keep us alive. Fight or flight is a part of being human yet when you hear the phrase ‘panic attack’ you think of an unsafe and distressing attack on the senses. Yes, the sensations are distressing but feeling unsafe is the one thing you don’t want to dwell on as the more unsafe you feel, the more our body want’s us to escape. The word influx works for this too as panic and anxiety kinda stand under the same umbrella, for me anyway.

I know this may sound like a small and insignificant step but truly, the language we use is imperative in our human experience. Each word has a frequency and if we keep using descriptions that ripple fear through our system then surly our body will never get a break. When the influx of feelings are turned up full volume then all we ever crave is quiet. We search for peace in places we believe will ease the tension when really we had the medicine all along, from the top of our head to the tips of our toes. It’s just a matter or switching perspectives. I don’t talk about this like it’s a light and easy switch to make, believe me the past few years has been an assortment of emotions, many constricting and uncomfortable but the more I begin to believe in myself, as a human being (and more than that, connected to something greater), the more I feel at peace being the woman I want to be (if I can visualise it then it’s who I am already).

Humans are incredibly powerful beings. Look at all that has been manifested, all that has been created in this physical world. All has stemmed from thought, some inspired some not so much but there is no denying that we can pretty much achieve anything should we put our minds to it.

It is the same with language and perspectives. Speak of how you want things to go, speak of new ideas and new interpretations. When our thoughts and our words align, the flow of possibility is endless. I am absolutely beginning to trust this process and am so grateful to be able to believe in the magic I am feeling right now.

Happy Monday and much love 🙂

p.s I have put a photo of my cat on this post because she has got allowing and living in the now down to a fine art! There is no need to describe anything in her world, she just lives and breathes her life. She sure is one of my greatest teachers.

#33 Grateful for Saturday Unravellings

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Today I feel inspired. I’ve been standing in what feels like a beam of light for the past few days and it’s feels delicious.  I am attributing this to tapping into energies of gratitude and love – letting my heart lead.

Thinking has taken a back seat and I’ve kinda surrendered into feelings, which is incredibly unusual for me as I have a tendency to tense my body in the illusion that I’m keeping control of my emotions. Of course when control comes from a place of fear it blocks any avenue of growth. Now my walls are down.

As today has been a calm, slow day. Slow in a unravelling kinda way. I wrote another gratitude list. Last year I read the book ‘Make Miracles in Forty Days’ by Melody Beattie. Her inspired idea is to write a list of gratitudes each day (in the morning as soon as you wake) and do this for forty days. She did this when she was going through a terrible time in life and as her levels of gratitude rose, her life began to flow more positively. Basically it helps you to feel good. She also shared her list with a friend each day, this gave the list more momentum. So I am taking a leaf out of her book and sharing my list.

  1. I am grateful for the watercolour set I found under my bed. I’ve had a load of art supplies under the bed for years. I almost gave away the watercolour set I own as I never thought I would use it but I had this feeling I should keep it, so I did. Well my premonition was right and now they are being put to good use. Adding colour to paper is the most satisfying thing. Even when you have no idea what you’re doing before you begin to paint (which is me 99% of the time) the outcome is always fun, even if the picture isn’t quite what you’d hoped for.
  2. I am grateful for lighter evenings. YES! I love the longer days of Spring and Summer. Just when I was thinking ‘oh man, this winter feels like it’s never ending’ I notice that it’s no longer getting dark at 4pm anymore. This makes me smile, a lot.
  3. I am grateful for warm socks. I love walking around bare foot but in the winter, this is not the cosiest option. I have a couple of pairs of extra warm socks and when the floor is cold and the air is chilly, putting on a pair of warm socks is like honey in tea.
  4. I am grateful for my meditation cushion. I have only gotten into using a cushion specially designed for meditation. I didn’t see the point of them before but now I spend most of my time sat on the floor, even when I’m working. The sturdy, buckwheat filled cushion has been medicine for my back.
  5. I am grateful for lemons. I LOVE a warm lemon tea in the morning. It’s become part of my wake up ritual and when I smell the freshly cut citrus scent, it sends my senses into a frenzy of ecstasy (I know that sounds extreme but boy, do I love lemons).
  6. I am grateful for the tulips in the vase on the cabinet. A dear friend of mine visited me yesterday and brought me some flowers. I feel so blessed as not only is it lovely to receive flowers unexpectedly, now whenever I look at them I think of her and how we laughed and connected over lunch and a hot chocolate. Beautiful times!
  7. I am grateful for my hemp yoga mat. It took me a while to get used to having less grip than the rubber one I previously owned but my whole body feels stronger because of my core having to strengthen in order to flow as I’d done before. Also, it’s better for my skin as the rubber was making my feet and arms itch (my skin obviously doesn’t like rubber!). It’s made with 100% natural materials… good for me and the environment 🙂
  8. I am grateful for Earl Grey tea. Yep, although I have given up coffee I still enjoy a little cup of caffeinated tea in Earl Grey form. Today’s was extra delicious for some reason, I’m not questioning the deliciousness 🙂
  9. I am grateful for chips. I don’t eat much fatty food, for the reason that it makes me feel crappy and tired. I seem to be craving fresh foods over processed these days anyway. However tonight is gonna be chips for dinner as it’s nice to enjoy a little of what you fancy.
  10. I am grateful for coconut oil. I don’t actually use it to cook, I use it on my skin and it seems to agree. Eating coconut makes me feel sick for some reason, I think it aggravates my stomach acid. I adore the smell though and the texture of the oil feels like luxury on my skin. Who doesn’t like a touch of luxury every now and again 🙂

Well that’s my ten for today. Life is FULL of magic and making miracles has become a priority for me. We all have a choice, we can decide we want to feel good or we don’t 🙂

Much love and magic to y’all!

#32 So Grateful I’m Making a List :)

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There’s always more to be grateful for, always more than one thing a day or one thing a week or even one thing a lifetime (not that I’d imagine any one person could only find one thing to be grateful for in their lifetime… that would be a rotten life).

This morning I woke up and the first thing I thought was ‘THANK YOU’. I think this most mornings, but this morning I felt the roots of my hair tingle and my toes wiggle with the delicious vibrations these words brought me. Thank you for the comfort of my bed, thank you for sleep (in general because it’s sleep that keeps me wanting to stay awake during the day :)), thank you for food in the fridge that will calm my hungry belly. There’s plenty to keep me smiling, even before I step out of bed. Now, not all mornings are like this but when I can stay flying high, I like to celebrate the feeling. The universe responds to the way we feel not what we say and as I’ve always been one to use lots of words to try and deceive myself and others what I was truly feeling, feeling great and not hiding it is now my No.1 treat.

So today I am writing a list, 10 things I am grateful for just because… well just because I want to.

  1. Grateful for brightly dressed visions :). I have a vivid imagination. Daydreaming used to get me into so much trouble at school but I can go about it, guilt free, It’s like watching a movie but I am in the directors chair. I love colour and to be able feel the vibrations of pink and green and yellow and purple, it lights up my eyes. I know this makes me sound like I’m tripping out but hey, I just feel like a rainbow today.
  2. Grateful for friendship. I spend more time with my dog than any human friends at the moment and he teaches me so much. Then I think about what I have learnt from all the friends I’ve had in my life. When I’ve been treated kindly by wonderful friends I learn how to keep my heart open. When I was treated not so kindly I understood what it means it feel strong, even though it felt like the world was against me at the time. I also see that we mirror each other so how others treat me is often a response to how I am treating myself. It’s ALL an unravelling, de-layering if ya like. Friendship helps me to find myself and discover what it means to be human.
  3. Grateful for Winter. It’s usually about this time of year I crave the spring but this year I am enjoying the pleasures of this chilly season. Nature is never in a hurry so this year I intend to follow in patient footsteps.
  4. Grateful for the building work happening to the house next door. I hate the sound of a drill, it pierces through me and I just want to escape it. When the whole house next door is being gutted, the sound of a drill is everyday SO I have had to get used to it. I’ve meditated through it, enjoyed yoga, I’ve written, I’ve painted and I’ve rested. So now I can manage how I feel through this sound and if I can manage my feelings around that, I am sure I can manage uncomfortable feelings elsewhere too.
  5. Grateful for my laptop. Technology has been getting on my nerves lately. I turned my phone off for a week and now I love shutting off from the hum of electrical waves. However, I realise it’s my attitude towards what is in my life that matters so getting frustrated at something that is just a ‘thing’ and has been influential is just silly. This laptop I’m using right now has allowed me to share poems and stories – that is priceless.
  6. Grateful for my feet. I can explore because of them 🙂
  7. Grateful for my occasional bloated tummy as I know my body is communicating, letting me know how certain foods and thoughts are effecting my whole system.
  8. Grateful for Tilly (the cat) who has just jumped on the table for a stroke and cuddle. She always reminds me that there’s always enough time for love and appreciation. She’s got enjoying the now down to a fine art.
  9. Grateful for white tea. I have recently discovered the delights of white tea. I have no idea of the health benefits but it feels cleansing as I drink it. It’s subtler than green tea, less bitter and I am trying to keep bitter tastes out of my diet at the moment. It seems to stir up the acid and excess acid is no good for anyone :).
  10. Grateful for allowing myself to feel good. I have spent the past two years feeling pretty sad and shitty and lost and undecided. It’s hasn’t been easy to just feel good without some negative thought creeping in. I lost the will to have fun, lightness was overshadowed by dark. Today I am grateful that feeling good happens, it’s happening more and more and with conscious effort to allow myself to love more… well more love seems to be entering my life and that feels good.

That is my list for today. It’s been fun writing it 🙂

Sending love to y’all… You are appreciated beyond words!

#26 Grateful for Minimalism

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The past few weeks I’ve been hard on myself and the state of the world. The more I cradle into news feeds and environmental issues and animal neglect and… the general crisis we seem to be plummeting into, I just wanna cry. Brexit (Ahhhh) Trump (AHHHHHH)… I could list ALL the shit but I’m not gonna, you know the deal.

Anyway, last night, during my wallow I got into bed early, flipped open my laptop, logged into Netflix and headed to the documentaries.

“More ‘real life’ crisis, feed me more crisis”

I’d like to add here this post is headed someplace more upbeat, I promise.

Then I remembered my friend recommending the documentary ‘Minimalism: A documentary about the important things’. I pressed play and I got even more depressed during the first 20 minutes (btw it’s not a depressing documentary, it’s hopeful, I really recommend the watch, it sure inspired me).

Modern day consumption is insane! The rate at which we are filling our oceans and landfills with crap is just beyond belief. Hey there missy! (I address myself)… I buy stuff wrapped in plastic, I buy water in plastic bottles when I’m out and get thirsty. I have a mobile phone, I have a computer, I invest lots of my time on the world wide web, filling up on information I don’t need (mostly enjoy, sometimes not so much). I check my instagram everyday, and I’m blessed to have a huge choice of foods on my doorstep. When more is available, it’s hard to not want to take it.

A comment was made by… someone (a psychologist or scientist, one or the other) in this documentary about how things cannot go on the way they are, we’re in full destruction mode – of our health and our environment. Flash thought in that moment: 20 years. 20 years could be it. At this rate, we’ll be lucky to have an earth that can sustain us in 20 years time… once the CO2 levels rise and oxygen becomes more precious than diamonds, that will be it. 20 years! I know, it’s an extreme thought but we are living in extreme times. I freaked out.

20 fucking years!

I woke up thinking about it, I ate my breakfast thinking about it (even though I’m trying to be mindful when I eat, 20 years of life on earth is not something you can so easily put to one side as you crunch on puffed rice). What the hell is the point, of anything? I even said the words out loud.

“What’s the point, nothing matters!”

Light bulb – it ALL matters! We just don’t value matter anymore. If we don’t like it, if it doesn’t fit, we bin it and buy a new one. Disposable lifestyles R Us.

20 years? If I only had 20 years left on this earth, what would I do?

The calmest I’ve felt in very, very long time was when I thought about imminent death at the very moment I’d convinced myself we have 20 years left.

Shit, I got a lot of living to do.

And by living I mean loving and by loving I mean enjoying what I have and by enjoying what I have I mean enjoying this very moment, the now. I have sunrises to enjoy and wet grass to feel on my bare feet in the morning and animals to adore and people to connect with. So much living to do!

And what if it does turn around? We don’t know what the future has in store for us. All we can do is love what we’ve been given and boy, does the earth know how to share. We got mountains to explore (should that be something you wish to do) we got landscapes to paint, forests to walk through, oceans to sail, we got laughter to share and taste sensations to explode upon our tongues (from naturally grown natural foods). We got so much love to feel.

I gotta get loving!

I am going to get minimal too. I would love to be able to fit everything I own into a large bag, wouldn’t that be swell. It’s good to have goals. I am going to try with every fibre in my being to laugh more, to enjoy those moments that were once filled with ‘don’t enjoy this, panic instead as you know that feeling so well and it’s not safe to step outside comfort spots!’. I want to dance more, to smile more, to use my phone less (this is a big need I think) and to reduce my plastic consumption (a HUGE need)

Yea sure, some days are gonna be hard, some are going to be crap and grey and I might not want to even get out of bed on those days but as I may only have 20 years left, I don’t want to be miserable and hard on myself for too long. Besides, if everyone got minimal, well we might just have a good chance of beating my guess (based on unsubstantial evidence) of 20 years.

Cheers to loving the freebies of mother earth, she got us sorted, we just gotta show her some lovin’ and respect in return.

#24 Grateful for One Step Back

A little entry today as words seem kinda flat.

This day has been slow and uncomfortable and I feel like this year might be 2016 all over again, like history is repeating! I know, it won’t be. One thing we can be certain of in life is change but at the end of 2016 I was feeling lighter, like I made two strident steps into the world of wellbeing. Now I’m not saying my wellbeing has gone to shit over the past week, it hasn’t but I do feel like I’ve taken one giant step back.

I wanna curl up and put dreams to bed. I don’t feel pumped about the year ahead and I did, I was ready for 2017 but today, I have felt slow and tired and discombobulated (that is such an awesome word). Writing is hard – words are meaningless, literally they just look like weird shapes on a page… oh wow… I am dragging my knuckles on the floor here!

That is my gratitude right there, reading what I’ve just written and not wanting to fuel the woe-is-me tone anymore. Journalling really does help! Yes today has been slow but that doesn’t mean tomorrow will be too… and some days words don’t pop and sentences don’t flow – it’s ok. I am always telling people that our feelings change, sometimes they mix around minute by minute and that’s.. well human. I need to listen to my own advice and settle into this contraction.

Grateful for one step back as now I can push off my back foot and sprint three steps forward. I don’t even think we go back or forwards anyway, there is no ‘place’ we’re supposed to get to, it just paints a fun picture in my head (me in a crouch position at the start of a race… an image I’ve yet to see become reality)

#23 Grateful for Candlelight

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Since Christmas eve, each night we’ve eaten dinner by candlelight. This is not something of tradition in our household. We light the candles at christmas and then put them away at the beginning of January (usually only having lit them on christmas day) until next year. This year, we light the candles each night – a tradition I am now adopting, not just for christmas but through the winter months.

These dark evenings are feeling weighty at the moment. It’s always at this time of year I struggle with claustrophobia and agoraphobia, like grey skies wash over expansions and pull me in. The past week i’ve wanted to hibernate and not get out of bed until the sun comes up (I’m sure I’m not alone in that!). Yin energy is at it’s peak and as this month is in the astrological sign of Capricorn, a cardinal earth sign, this proves challenging and uncomfortable for a woman with no earth in her natal chart.

So light is medicine for me, and oh so heavily craved, plus there’s something about the naked flame that makes me feel alive. It’s like primal instincts know I’m made up of this, the heat and power emitted from one single flame is within me (although I haven’t been feeling very powerful of late). I know that this is the time of year to reflect, to go inward and find more of ourselves, some pieces beautiful, some not so beautiful. These past few days my agoraphobia has been on full blast and I’ve been wanting to hide away. To jump into a cave surrounded by moss or tall grass and just… well I don’t actually know what I’d do if such a situation should arise, I guess I’m just romanticising the wild life.

So candlelight has been such a precious gift the past week or so and I hope to keep this evening ritual burning 😉 The cycle of life needs winter and although the words ‘god, I hate winter’ have bounced off my tongue in the past, I know I need to reestablish the relationship I have with myself in the these darker months – we gotta love our own cycles after all and the feelings and emotions that arise are part of my whole being. Candlelight is keeping my enthusiasm alight ( 😉 ) and this year, some deep exploration is taking place, even if feels really crappy sometimes. I am grateful that I can enjoy these luxuries, that next to a warm and healing flame I am able to meditate, pray, do yoga and now eat with my family. Yes, tonight I am feeling mighty blessed.

 

#16 Grateful for Not Achieving 1,600 Words per day

So yea, as the title explains, I am wayyyy off my 1,600 words per day to write my novel in the month of November.

I have two options, I beat myself up about it, cursing the fact that I haven’t done what I set out to do when I signed up for National Novel Writing Month, or I can accept that I although I am not on course to write a novel in a short space of time, I have at least started the novel and also written some poems that I think are pretty good (self-expression is self-expression and I’m happy that at least I’m doing it). I’m going with option No.2 because nobody likes a bruised body from internal battering so hold fire personal attack and welcome to the creative process of writing.

Creating is a strange process. You plan, you plan to stick to the plan (or so you hope) but the planned form of expression turns into something completely different and you end up with something that is most probably more true to you than the original plan. This has been my whole creative life. I began as a dancer, then went to drama school then ended up at university specialising in Playwriting and now I am here, still writing but not plays. The twists and turns in life are what make it so… well a combo of so fucked up and so glorious all rolled into one.

The controller in me wants everything to go according to how I’ve rolled my time-line out in my head. I’ve done this ever since I was small, pretending I know what the outcome is most likely going to be, saying ‘oh I know, I have this feeling’ and although I consider myself an intuitive person, we can never know what is going to happen on every path we venture down. LET GO OF THE WHEEL. I write that in capitols for me, not to preach. I am the giver of advice and the worst receiver. My own advice comes from a place within that I know I need to listen too. I’m pretty much advising myself with the advice that I give when I’m asked to give it (as listening is most often the best help we can give) because I only ever know my perspectives, my own interpretations of my reality.

I am grateful that I am not on track with NaNoWriMo because it’s making me look at myself, hard… Through those truth lenses that I like to keep in my pocket and pretend I’ve lost them when pretending seems like the most fun game in life when truth is hard to accept. I’ve also realised that maybe this book isn’t a long winded intricate novel. I’m writing a teenage fiction book, it’s the diary of a girl who has been made to live with her difficult aunt after loosing her parents and coming to terms with this, if she ever does. It’s character driven and now, the more I write, it seems to be crossing into fantasy too. So I’ll keep going and see what happens but I’m relieving the pressure of 1,600 words a day as this was stressful rather than encouraging. We all work differently and part of the process is finding your own way.

Writing is so enjoyable yet so challenging all at once. I guess like life, the perfect combination of contradictions. As you ride the wave you get wet, so you get out of the water, dry off, then get back in the water again.

 

 

#15 Grateful for Soul Sharing

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My dad is in mourning today, Leonard Cohen was his man, his inspiration, his soul brother. I grew up listening to Leonard in the car, at home… basically whenever my dad had control over the sound system (it was the 90’s!), Leonard (or The Beatles) was playing.

We’ve lost some incredible artists this year (my god, what a year!), many have shaped my early poetic experiences, I remember writing down David Bowie lyrics as a kid, to read over and over as the mystery settled me, helping me to to make sense of my own confusions. Not that any sense was ever made, there is often no sense, but Bowie and Prince shared a part of themselves that allowed others to feel… to feel raw, to feel sexy, to feel human.

I am so grateful that people share their soul with the world. A life without creative expression would be… oh I dunno, shit. It would be dark and dismal and controlled and rotten and stagnant.. yep, just really really shit. It is sad when people depart the physical world but thank god for their existence! Today I want to praise Leonard Cohen, to thank him for the passion he still brings out in my dad and the millions of others he’s consoled, ignited and inspired. I want to rejoice in the courage that people have to bare themselves in such open and heartfelt ways. To go against the grain, to believe that their voice is worthy and deserves to be heard.

Being an artist can be risky and challenging and some days you feel like ‘what is the fucking point’ but today I feel, now more than ever, the world needs more artists and sharers of their soul. I am SO GRATEFUL to myself for the guts to pursue my love of writing and no longer listening to the voice of ‘No you can’t’ that rang so loud for so many years. I am SO GRATEFUL for the risk takers who fought so hard to dismantle barriers that silenced so many creative voices. I am SO GRATEFUL for anyone who reads this and is expressing their passions, creating art in their way, whatever that may be as the world needs your magic… to create is magic.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.