#27 Grateful for Riches

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Today I feel rich, abundant, up to my chin (and almost can’t move) in wealth because of… well many reasons but many reasons can be easily forgotten until the sky lights up to remind you that life is full of anything you want it to be full of.

This morning I asked for release. Just a few moments of release from my chatty thoughts, oh and also a reason to get out of bed and go running. This was my reason, the best reason a woman could hope for, the sunrise took my breath away and calmed me more than words ever could.

That is the definition of rich right? To be consumed in pleasure and joy and all things delicious.. well that was how I felt seeing the sunrise this morning and guess what, it’s free, every single day.

Blessed, blessed, blessed.

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#24 Grateful for One Step Back

A little entry today as words seem kinda flat.

This day has been slow and uncomfortable and I feel like this year might be 2016 all over again, like history is repeating! I know, it won’t be. One thing we can be certain of in life is change but at the end of 2016 I was feeling lighter, like I made two strident steps into the world of wellbeing. Now I’m not saying my wellbeing has gone to shit over the past week, it hasn’t but I do feel like I’ve taken one giant step back.

I wanna curl up and put dreams to bed. I don’t feel pumped about the year ahead and I did, I was ready for 2017 but today, I have felt slow and tired and discombobulated (that is such an awesome word). Writing is hard – words are meaningless, literally they just look like weird shapes on a page… oh wow… I am dragging my knuckles on the floor here!

That is my gratitude right there, reading what I’ve just written and not wanting to fuel the woe-is-me tone anymore. Journalling really does help! Yes today has been slow but that doesn’t mean tomorrow will be too… and some days words don’t pop and sentences don’t flow – it’s ok. I am always telling people that our feelings change, sometimes they mix around minute by minute and that’s.. well human. I need to listen to my own advice and settle into this contraction.

Grateful for one step back as now I can push off my back foot and sprint three steps forward. I don’t even think we go back or forwards anyway, there is no ‘place’ we’re supposed to get to, it just paints a fun picture in my head (me in a crouch position at the start of a race… an image I’ve yet to see become reality)

Little Listener

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Delicate lace

Imprints my palm

And symbols of faith

Tattooed on arm

Waves on crown

Hair grows so thin

Untouched by blade

On thigh and shin

Fingers bitten

Nails short and blunt

Stories on back

Hope riding in front

Muddy paths

Staining my feet

And ridid toes

Ignoring the beat

Breasts carved small

And ribs poke free

Frame thought weak

Bears the weight of me

Faintly drawn clouds

Days roaming slow

Subtleties roar

Guiding where to go

I follow not knowing

Which way to turn

Does it matter?

Either way, I’ll learn.

 

Wake Up

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I woke up this morning to the foulest of dreams

Where poison pollutes once vibrant streams

And war has begun, but not as we know

Much worse than the tanks and bullets we throw

Now breaking of dawn is forever broken

And words of final are faintly spoken

Hearts are rotting inside out

And hope is drenched with crippling doubt

Forests are dead, no jungle sounds

No celebrations painting towns

Hiding souls are shaking away

Our innate sense of dance and play

Numbness dissolves upon our palm

As frantic breath disruptes the calm

I wept this morning for what could be

If alone we stand and fail to see

That destruction has not once settled the score

And seizing beyond makes us crave even more

We have something rare, to look within

To soothe our battles before they begin

And ask such questions of how we forgot

To love all we have and not need a whole lot

So with swollen eyes this morning I pray

That love is the step we next take, everyday.