#36 Grateful for New Heights of Deliciousness (LoVe)

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The past few weeks have been precious. I know that everyday is precious but some days we remember more than others. Some days we feel so sad and crippled with worry and panic those moments stamp our reality, other days we feel such exhilarating heights, we’re giddy from the pure air we breath when revolving on our high vibrational discs of love.

I used to think this came about mainly when we feel love for another being. Considerations of love were always projected on how another could make me feel. I loved falling in love, I loved the idea of falling in love, I loved the energising energy I felt when I fell in love. Of course now I appreciate that all those incredible, life-enriching energies were coming from the depths of me, flowing through me because I was capable of enjoying such limitless pleasures. Meeting someone who mirrors these feelings creates magic but it is not because of another human that we light up – the light has to be there in the first place.

When I love on this level I understand the concept of unconditional as I am not waiting or requesting or hoping on external circumstances to brew such feelings. Conditions arise when we lean outside of ourselves to smooth over discomforts we feel, to smoother pain with complimentary words from another, which we hold onto for recognition. Recognising our own depths of emotion distills reliance on outside ‘realities’. We crave because we believe to be lacking. Lack does not exist within the laws of the universe and when we fully acknowledge the volts of power we have pulsating through our bodies, all day every day… well we sure don’t need anyone else to reaffirm this. We experience new heights of being alive, all on our own.

Today I am feeling new heights of love because I’m believing wholeheartedly that boundless love lives within me. I feel powerfully loving towards myself, towards life, towards others. It’s taken me a while to feel self-assured in these playful, positive emotions. I believed myself to be ‘darker’ than that. Maybe in a way I visualised myself as the struggling artist or the un-worthy human, struggling through heartbreak and bad luck. This was the narrative I’d constructed but it didn’t feel right. I felt crap and feeling crap is not why I want to be alive. I also didn’t want anyone to think I was blowing my own trumpet when love began to overtake upset. Once upon a time I would judge those expressing love, especially those revelling in the love they felt for themselves. I would snigger at those who achieved great things, those who believed in their abilities. I convinced myself that their external circumstances were more complimentary than mine in terms of achieving a state of love and happiness.

I am so grateful to be able to recognise my own connections to universal energy, to god, to pure energising love. I am so grateful that I can experience moments of clarity and unconditional love. Love is such an incredible force and it never runs away or hides, we just have tendencies to build defensive, self-deprecating beliefs preventing us from feeling… well feeling good 🙂

Maybe we are afraid of our own power as when we begin to understand the limitless love that vibrates so absolutely through the galaxy that is our physical body, suddenly all that we thought impossible begins to creep into very possible visions of our reality. “Can I really do this??”

“YES YOU CAN”

#34 Grateful For Fresh Perspectives

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I have been thinking a lot about the language I use. The words I have used for many, many years to describe uncomfortable feelings or circumstances have not been resonating as of late.

An example of this is anxiety. The word anxiety has many stale connotations attached. I that for me the past few years have been like a cheese of sadness and anxiety and depression all packed into one ball of wax and dumped into the chambers of my psyche. Well the cheese is beginning to smell and the chamber needs airing. I don’t want these stories to be my reality anymore – it’s not my reality, it actually feels ‘old’ to talk about how ‘hard’ things have been over the past few years as I know that each moment has been of great value – the faith and love I feel today is because of yesterday and the day before and the day before that etc :).

So I am now changing my vocabulary to suit the shift I have recently been experiencing. The term anxiety has now become an ‘influx of feeling’, influx for short. That is what it feels like, an influx of overwhelming sensations that ride my energy system for what feels like an eternity at the time but really only a minute or so. Once you attach yourself to the feeling it becomes harder to surrender, harder to release those expectations of repeat when faced with similar circumstances or emotional triggers. I know triggers must be recognised before any form of healing can take place but it’s important not to focus too much on how you have been feeling when you’re triggered but more on how you want to feel instead.

Also, the descriptive term of Panic Attack… nope, that has gotta change. Attack? There is no attack. My body is responding to assumptions that I am being attacked – panic is not attacking me. We panic because we think we’re in danger so our body is essentially helping us, doing exactly what it is programmed to do. This ‘panic attack’ is my body’s way of helping me to thrive. At all times, day and night, life want’s to survive. Out bodies heal, our breath calms, the body does what it can to keep us alive. Fight or flight is a part of being human yet when you hear the phrase ‘panic attack’ you think of an unsafe and distressing attack on the senses. Yes, the sensations are distressing but feeling unsafe is the one thing you don’t want to dwell on as the more unsafe you feel, the more our body want’s us to escape. The word influx works for this too as panic and anxiety kinda stand under the same umbrella, for me anyway.

I know this may sound like a small and insignificant step but truly, the language we use is imperative in our human experience. Each word has a frequency and if we keep using descriptions that ripple fear through our system then surly our body will never get a break. When the influx of feelings are turned up full volume then all we ever crave is quiet. We search for peace in places we believe will ease the tension when really we had the medicine all along, from the top of our head to the tips of our toes. It’s just a matter or switching perspectives. I don’t talk about this like it’s a light and easy switch to make, believe me the past few years has been an assortment of emotions, many constricting and uncomfortable but the more I begin to believe in myself, as a human being (and more than that, connected to something greater), the more I feel at peace being the woman I want to be (if I can visualise it then it’s who I am already).

Humans are incredibly powerful beings. Look at all that has been manifested, all that has been created in this physical world. All has stemmed from thought, some inspired some not so much but there is no denying that we can pretty much achieve anything should we put our minds to it.

It is the same with language and perspectives. Speak of how you want things to go, speak of new ideas and new interpretations. When our thoughts and our words align, the flow of possibility is endless. I am absolutely beginning to trust this process and am so grateful to be able to believe in the magic I am feeling right now.

Happy Monday and much love 🙂

p.s I have put a photo of my cat on this post because she has got allowing and living in the now down to a fine art! There is no need to describe anything in her world, she just lives and breathes her life. She sure is one of my greatest teachers.