#35 Grateful For 10 More Things To Be Grateful About

 

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Here comes another list 🙂

  1. Grateful for garlic. I know this sounds weird but I love the smell of garlic on my hands. It’s a strong scent so even after a few hand washes the scent stays on my fingers. I LOVE IT. Garlic is delicious and full of good stuff for our body and when I cook with it I feel the meal is complete. So little scent reminders of this medicine is always welcomed.
  2. Grateful for the internet. Our internet went down for about 4 days. It wasn’t a catastrophe and I’m not saying we wouldn’t be able to survive without the internet, we would but it did make me appreciate how often I find inspiration on the world wide web. The internet can make things so much easier and allows me to post on this blog – a place where I’ve connected with people from all over the world! That is pretty darn cool.
  3. Grateful for flaked almonds. I adore almonds but there’s something about them being flaked, maybe it’s the ease of eating them and because of that the flavour seems more intense. It’s like grated carrot – for me the flavour is fuller as it’s softer and not such an effort to chew (that makes me sound so lazy!).
  4. Grateful for my morning meditation. I’ve been meditating for about 3 years now but I can honestly say that only recently I feel I have clicked with this practice/process. When I first started I think I was just going through the motions and trying to find a way that suited me. I was still imposing ego over the process and wanted it to make me feel the way I thought it should be making me feel. You read so many books and quotes about how meditation changes your life, it’s the ‘answer’. It’s not the answer but it certainly helps you to find your truth, something that has been a part of you the whole time, even during darker days. It’s just so easy to muffle our inner voice by thinking what we’ve been told to think and feel. Meditation allows me to tap back into who I truly am… a whole loada love, no matter what circumstances I’m going through 🙂
  5. Grateful for daffodils. Yes, the daffodils are coming out to play. A warm, sunny reminder that spring is on it’s way. A splash of colour reminds me how much I adore the cycle of seasons and the UK does seasons so well.
  6. Grateful for the pretty white house opposite ours. There is something about this house. It’s the only white house on the street, it looks more like a cottage really. We have a large tree outside our house too so from the front room window you can see the house and tree and it kinda looks like a scene from the country rather than a busy suburban London borough.
  7. Grateful for the local farmers market. I was thinking this morning about how much I love our local farmers market. I have this tendency to think about living someplace not so busy and more ‘wild’ than the outskirts of London. However to appreciate where you are each moment is vital if you want to feel good. So I have been thinking about what I love about where I live and the farmers market is one of these things. You can buy local produce and speak to those who make/sell their products – I think that forming a relationship with those who have a hand in creating what you personally enjoy is a beautiful way to truly appreciate what you’re eating/drinking/using/wearing.
  8. Grateful for miso soup. We get an organic vegetable delivery every week and often the box if full of greens (kale, spinach etc). I don’t like raw kale and as we often get a massive bag of it, some was getting wasted as I wasn’t eating it on a daily basis. Now I put it in a miso soup for lunch 🙂 – it’s getting eaten daily and not only am I benefiting from kale’s nutritional offerings, there is no waste at the end of the week.
  9. Grateful for sore cuticles. This is kinda odd but having sore cuticles reminds me that I no longer want to pick at my own skin! It’s become a habit as I used to do it all the time when I was nervous as a kid. Now I do it when I’m reading or even typing as whenever I take a breather from the keyboard my nail automatically begins picking at some hard piece of skin (sounds gross, I know). Now, I am making a conscious decision to stop as I’m only hurting myself.
  10. Grateful for new music discoveries. I love listening to new artists, especially when I’m led to them. I think music represents the energies we’re vibin’ at and when you’re led to new discoveries it feels like it’s tapping into a part of you that may have been asleep. I feel this.

This gratitude list malarky sure does raise the vibrations to places of deliciousness. Thinking this way allows me to see miracles every where and every day. I can’t ask for more than that.

Happy Tuesday and much love!

#34 Grateful For Fresh Perspectives

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I have been thinking a lot about the language I use. The words I have used for many, many years to describe uncomfortable feelings or circumstances have not been resonating as of late.

An example of this is anxiety. The word anxiety has many stale connotations attached. I that for me the past few years have been like a cheese of sadness and anxiety and depression all packed into one ball of wax and dumped into the chambers of my psyche. Well the cheese is beginning to smell and the chamber needs airing. I don’t want these stories to be my reality anymore – it’s not my reality, it actually feels ‘old’ to talk about how ‘hard’ things have been over the past few years as I know that each moment has been of great value – the faith and love I feel today is because of yesterday and the day before and the day before that etc :).

So I am now changing my vocabulary to suit the shift I have recently been experiencing. The term anxiety has now become an ‘influx of feeling’, influx for short. That is what it feels like, an influx of overwhelming sensations that ride my energy system for what feels like an eternity at the time but really only a minute or so. Once you attach yourself to the feeling it becomes harder to surrender, harder to release those expectations of repeat when faced with similar circumstances or emotional triggers. I know triggers must be recognised before any form of healing can take place but it’s important not to focus too much on how you have been feeling when you’re triggered but more on how you want to feel instead.

Also, the descriptive term of Panic Attack… nope, that has gotta change. Attack? There is no attack. My body is responding to assumptions that I am being attacked – panic is not attacking me. We panic because we think we’re in danger so our body is essentially helping us, doing exactly what it is programmed to do. This ‘panic attack’ is my body’s way of helping me to thrive. At all times, day and night, life want’s to survive. Out bodies heal, our breath calms, the body does what it can to keep us alive. Fight or flight is a part of being human yet when you hear the phrase ‘panic attack’ you think of an unsafe and distressing attack on the senses. Yes, the sensations are distressing but feeling unsafe is the one thing you don’t want to dwell on as the more unsafe you feel, the more our body want’s us to escape. The word influx works for this too as panic and anxiety kinda stand under the same umbrella, for me anyway.

I know this may sound like a small and insignificant step but truly, the language we use is imperative in our human experience. Each word has a frequency and if we keep using descriptions that ripple fear through our system then surly our body will never get a break. When the influx of feelings are turned up full volume then all we ever crave is quiet. We search for peace in places we believe will ease the tension when really we had the medicine all along, from the top of our head to the tips of our toes. It’s just a matter or switching perspectives. I don’t talk about this like it’s a light and easy switch to make, believe me the past few years has been an assortment of emotions, many constricting and uncomfortable but the more I begin to believe in myself, as a human being (and more than that, connected to something greater), the more I feel at peace being the woman I want to be (if I can visualise it then it’s who I am already).

Humans are incredibly powerful beings. Look at all that has been manifested, all that has been created in this physical world. All has stemmed from thought, some inspired some not so much but there is no denying that we can pretty much achieve anything should we put our minds to it.

It is the same with language and perspectives. Speak of how you want things to go, speak of new ideas and new interpretations. When our thoughts and our words align, the flow of possibility is endless. I am absolutely beginning to trust this process and am so grateful to be able to believe in the magic I am feeling right now.

Happy Monday and much love 🙂

p.s I have put a photo of my cat on this post because she has got allowing and living in the now down to a fine art! There is no need to describe anything in her world, she just lives and breathes her life. She sure is one of my greatest teachers.

#33 Grateful for Saturday Unravellings

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Today I feel inspired. I’ve been standing in what feels like a beam of light for the past few days and it’s feels delicious.  I am attributing this to tapping into energies of gratitude and love – letting my heart lead.

Thinking has taken a back seat and I’ve kinda surrendered into feelings, which is incredibly unusual for me as I have a tendency to tense my body in the illusion that I’m keeping control of my emotions. Of course when control comes from a place of fear it blocks any avenue of growth. Now my walls are down.

As today has been a calm, slow day. Slow in a unravelling kinda way. I wrote another gratitude list. Last year I read the book ‘Make Miracles in Forty Days’ by Melody Beattie. Her inspired idea is to write a list of gratitudes each day (in the morning as soon as you wake) and do this for forty days. She did this when she was going through a terrible time in life and as her levels of gratitude rose, her life began to flow more positively. Basically it helps you to feel good. She also shared her list with a friend each day, this gave the list more momentum. So I am taking a leaf out of her book and sharing my list.

  1. I am grateful for the watercolour set I found under my bed. I’ve had a load of art supplies under the bed for years. I almost gave away the watercolour set I own as I never thought I would use it but I had this feeling I should keep it, so I did. Well my premonition was right and now they are being put to good use. Adding colour to paper is the most satisfying thing. Even when you have no idea what you’re doing before you begin to paint (which is me 99% of the time) the outcome is always fun, even if the picture isn’t quite what you’d hoped for.
  2. I am grateful for lighter evenings. YES! I love the longer days of Spring and Summer. Just when I was thinking ‘oh man, this winter feels like it’s never ending’ I notice that it’s no longer getting dark at 4pm anymore. This makes me smile, a lot.
  3. I am grateful for warm socks. I love walking around bare foot but in the winter, this is not the cosiest option. I have a couple of pairs of extra warm socks and when the floor is cold and the air is chilly, putting on a pair of warm socks is like honey in tea.
  4. I am grateful for my meditation cushion. I have only gotten into using a cushion specially designed for meditation. I didn’t see the point of them before but now I spend most of my time sat on the floor, even when I’m working. The sturdy, buckwheat filled cushion has been medicine for my back.
  5. I am grateful for lemons. I LOVE a warm lemon tea in the morning. It’s become part of my wake up ritual and when I smell the freshly cut citrus scent, it sends my senses into a frenzy of ecstasy (I know that sounds extreme but boy, do I love lemons).
  6. I am grateful for the tulips in the vase on the cabinet. A dear friend of mine visited me yesterday and brought me some flowers. I feel so blessed as not only is it lovely to receive flowers unexpectedly, now whenever I look at them I think of her and how we laughed and connected over lunch and a hot chocolate. Beautiful times!
  7. I am grateful for my hemp yoga mat. It took me a while to get used to having less grip than the rubber one I previously owned but my whole body feels stronger because of my core having to strengthen in order to flow as I’d done before. Also, it’s better for my skin as the rubber was making my feet and arms itch (my skin obviously doesn’t like rubber!). It’s made with 100% natural materials… good for me and the environment 🙂
  8. I am grateful for Earl Grey tea. Yep, although I have given up coffee I still enjoy a little cup of caffeinated tea in Earl Grey form. Today’s was extra delicious for some reason, I’m not questioning the deliciousness 🙂
  9. I am grateful for chips. I don’t eat much fatty food, for the reason that it makes me feel crappy and tired. I seem to be craving fresh foods over processed these days anyway. However tonight is gonna be chips for dinner as it’s nice to enjoy a little of what you fancy.
  10. I am grateful for coconut oil. I don’t actually use it to cook, I use it on my skin and it seems to agree. Eating coconut makes me feel sick for some reason, I think it aggravates my stomach acid. I adore the smell though and the texture of the oil feels like luxury on my skin. Who doesn’t like a touch of luxury every now and again 🙂

Well that’s my ten for today. Life is FULL of magic and making miracles has become a priority for me. We all have a choice, we can decide we want to feel good or we don’t 🙂

Much love and magic to y’all!

Sortin’ Shit Out

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There’s some weird shit going on in my head

You hear that too?

And I ain’t yet through

It’s not always pretty

There’s more to come

I don’t yet think I’ve even begun

To know the depths

Of where I was

Those currents took me far because

I’d swear I’ve not been to places I see

Downing bitters and herbal tea

Making me shed before I was this

And when the hell will I vomit up bliss?

I’ve waited for centuries

Or longer still

To crumple to crap

‘Just pop in a pill’

It’ll help I’m told

Just do as they say

Oh boy, it got me fucked up that way

So this stuff I feel

I’ll shake it out

Cheers to the movers

Salute to the soothers

Draw me a circle of where I should be

And there I’ll shuffle, hesitantly

As I know this shit

I’ve mastered the (eye)

Fenced by a name

And found lenses to lie

I’ll be something special

I’ll always be that

Cos I’m freestyle dancing

Wearing Kraps hat

 

 

Find Me

Some people may find me annoying

They don’t like the way that I dress

Some people may think I’m too bossy

Others may moan ‘she’s an absolute mess!’

Some may say that they like me

The joy that I bring, they’re a fan

They think that I’m funny and laugh at my jokes

Hoping I’ll stay as I am

But hey, you can’t please ‘um all

I’ve tried but it really don’t work

And maybe the pleasing ain’t pleasing

Cos I’ll think good intentions yet sound like a jerk

So some people like me and others may not

The question is why do I care?

As I can’t change the way that they see me

But myself, I can change how I cope with their stare

#22 Grateful for Reiki

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I blamed reiki for the small (epic) breakdown I had last year. Hear me out, I know now it wasn’t the fault of reiki, reiki didn’t do anything other than uncover what was already there but I was angry at how reiki made me feel and I needed something to blame. Kundalini yoga got a thrashing too but that’s for another post.

I took my reiki training over the space of a year or so and I completed the final master course in january 2016. Then… WHACK… I had a breakdown. I haven’t practiced reiki since, not really. I may have participated in a distant healing group but as things got worse for me, I quit the meditations. I stopped doing anything that made me feel… more. I couldn’t cope with much so I thought if I quit all the ‘spiritual’ stuff, things might settle down. They didn’t and I don’t think you can quit being spiritual if that’s who you are (and we’re all spiritual beings, some just tap a little deeper than others). To cut a long story short, I have gotten back to my reiki meditations and it feels GOOD.

After I completed the course and decided to lay off the practice, I thought ‘great, what a fat waste of money’. Oh how wrong I was. It’s NEVER a waste of money to invest in your wellbeing and doing reiki did more for me than, at the time, I could ever have believe. Even when I was at my lowest, I knew I needed to get a whole loada old shit to the surface, to face it, to release it and I guess it was reiki that got the ball rolling.

Now, I realise time is just… well what is time? Time is only as we perceive it and at the time I completed the course, it wasn’t time for me to practice. Who knows, maybe that time is coming soon. All I know is that now I am enjoying the prospect of welcoming reiki back into my life.

I am grateful for the intuitive move to begin the training, even though I didn’t know anything about it. I am grateful that sometimes we don’t need to know at the ‘time’ why we do something as all will be revealed in ‘time’. I am grateful for the faith I have in the process. Now the process is deliciously soothing, as I invite the warm energy of reiki back into my body (not that I think it ever left).

Self care is SO vital. It’s like eating and exercise and all the stuff we do to keep ourselves feeling good. Reiki is now on my self-care regime, a regime I welcome with open arms.